I don’t know what I am doing

15 Oct

I don’t know what I am doing.
I don’t know why I am doing it and I don’t know where this whole thing is going.
There are days when it is clear like cloudless mountain top clear and I can see my house from here…
But today I am looking up from a hole wondering where the horizon is.
No I am not depressed. I just don’t know what the fuck I am suppose to do.
Anyone ever feel like a dog chasing its tail? Determined, dizzy and dumbfounded.
Yesterday I thought I could catch my tail.
Today…
oh, nice REAL dramatic josh…

new subject: I had my 2 free sessions with a personal trainer (came with gym membership) yesterday and today.
He was a helpful bloke, showing my exercises and how to use the crazy machines…but I just couldn’t shake the fact that he was not fit. He could lift a lot, I’m sure, but he looked like he ate, slept and breathed double stack cheez burgers.
Just this mountain of a man telling me my new, much buffer body is a machine that we must assemble one day at a time.

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2 Responses to “I don’t know what I am doing”

  1. Hal Amen October 15, 2009 at 2:01 am #

    Josh, it’s been one of those weeks. Don’t sweat it man.

    Oh, and down with fat trainers.

  2. david miller October 16, 2009 at 12:21 pm #

    damn bro. cheeseburger trainer sounds so ‘LA’

    go surfing

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