I don’t know what I am doing.
I don’t know why I am doing it and I don’t know where this whole thing is going.
There are days when it is clear like cloudless mountain top clear and I can see my house from here…
But today I am looking up from a hole wondering where the horizon is.
No I am not depressed. I just don’t know what the fuck I am suppose to do.
Anyone ever feel like a dog chasing its tail? Determined, dizzy and dumbfounded.
Yesterday I thought I could catch my tail.
oh, nice REAL dramatic josh…
new subject: I had my 2 free sessions with a personal trainer (came with gym membership) yesterday and today.
He was a helpful bloke, showing my exercises and how to use the crazy machines…but I just couldn’t shake the fact that he was not fit. He could lift a lot, I’m sure, but he looked like he ate, slept and breathed double stack cheez burgers.
Just this mountain of a man telling me my new, much buffer body is a machine that we must assemble one day at a time.