What is Your Travel Power Animal?

10 Jun

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What beast best represents your travel style?

Photo by leosagnotti ~ flickr.com/photos/leosagnotti/


The serpent glides under the radar, slithering through spaces many can’t. Serpents are coy and confident but though they move fast and strike fast, they can’t see more than a few feet in front of them.


Clear sighted and high flying, the eagle travels with her head full of lofty thoughts and looks at everything through the lens of history or as a philosophical quandary. High the clouds the eagle can zero in on finer details that many can’t discern.


Penguins waddle in pairs that never leave each others side. Penguin travelers trundle happily along slowly and are often geriatric and covered in sun cream.


Dolphins are sleek, well muscled/toned, smelling of rum and sun tan lotion and enjoy recreational sex.


Scorpions have developed a hard shell from a life on the road alone. They trust no one but their mother and often have multiple weapons on their person. Scorpions may also have weather beaten, sun faded tattoos that look dubious in nature.


The snail traveler is he whom carries his whole home from place to place. He lingers lazily and lets the journey sweep him along in his tent/17 foot camper. Snails are usually friendly and free with their conversation and hospitality. Snails have usually amassed a huge stockpile of miscellaneous items so they may be helpful when you need a 5/8ths wrench or coffee filter.


Monkeys travel in groups, swinging from village to village partying and trying to swoon local babes. Monkeys are often drunk, fresh out of University and derive a profound pleasure from the debauched group think of tipsy rugby players. Monkeys generally make too much noise and too much of a mess.


Buzzing from one colorful destination to the next, snapping photos and snippets of video, jotting notes, and blogging nightly…collecting the digital nectar from each location brings the bumblebee great joy.


Drunk, filthy, gluttonous and flatulent, the porcine traveler likes to wallow in the darkest, dirtiest holes. When the swine finds a suitable place to roll in their vices they often stay for long stretches of time. Often older men pissing penchants away in developing world brothels, the swine can be excellent resources for practical local knowledge.


Lacking a central nervous system and languidly gliding along, the jellyfish traveler has neither direction or worry. Jellyfish doesn’t make waves and somehow moves profound distances by riding the undercurrent and by going with the flow.


Huddled nude in yurt communes, the naked mole rat travelers are fond of drums circles, group sex, Tofurky, sweat lodges and hallucinogenic substances. Found in numbers near beaches, naked mole rats are adorned in little more than hemp, shells and blown glass.


The peacock cannot step out for sightseeing with their matching D&G glasses and belt. Ever preening, and posing for self photos, the peacock sees the world as a back drop for their gorgeous self. Peacocks carry a formidable arsenal of beauty products and may dream of hosting a travel show from Ibiza.



7 Responses to “What is Your Travel Power Animal?”

  1. JoAnna June 10, 2010 at 2:24 am #

    I love your description of the penguins!! Maybe I’ll be one some day, but not yet.

    Which one describes you?

    • joshywashington June 11, 2010 at 5:39 pm #

      I think I am a little bumblebee, a little serpent, a little jellyfish with a dash of coyote…

  2. Carlo June 10, 2010 at 2:37 am #

    Haha. Hate to admit it but I think I’m a penguin…although not geriatric. Mixed with snail and jellyfish.

  3. Lola June 10, 2010 at 6:02 am #

    Haha!! Love it.

    More the bumblebee here (WITHOUT the nightly blogging) with a tad bit of jellyfish.

    Usually always “on”, sniffing out potential stories.

    You totally need to republish this on Abroad.

  4. Hal Amen June 10, 2010 at 4:39 pm #

    Somehow I’m a mix of snail and bumblebee. Call it a bumblesnail.

  5. Surbulation Station June 10, 2010 at 7:53 pm #

    Definitely hard to land on just one… I’m a swineagle.

  6. Michelle Schusterman June 11, 2010 at 3:35 am #

    This is both genius and hilarious, my favorite combination. I don’t know which one I am, but I think I’d like to be some sort of Jellyfish/Eagle mix. Which would look quite strange.

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